It's no mystery why intended parents want to protect and even control the surrogacy process: can anything be more important than the well-being of your future child? But some asks may go too far.

Surrogacy agreements set out the arrangements between intended parents and surrogates. We don't know much about them because they are mostly kept secret. Below, I share with you some prohibitions and exhortations drawn from a collection of American and Canadian surrogacy agreements. 

The Gestational Carrier agrees

Diet

• no saccharine

• no aspartame

• no nitrates

• no caffeine

• no vegetarianism

Travel

• no air travel during first and third trimester

• no leaving the continental US

• no leaving the state (without prior written consent of a doctor)

• no travelling more than 100 miles from home (after week 20)

• no travelling more than 100 miles from a hospital (in third trimester)

• no travelling more than 30 minutes from a hospital (in third trimester)

Personal Life

• no swimming in lakes or oceans

• no riding a bike outside

• no standing for long periods of time

• no hair dye

• no perms

• no perfume around the time of embryo transfer

• no routine dental cleaning (without written approval of doctor)

• no moving out of state (without approval of intended parents)

• no becoming involved in a sexual relationship (without notifying the intended parents)

• no sex without condoms

• no getting married prior to transfer, during the pregnancy, or for 10 months after the birth

• agrees to be randomly tested for controlled substances at any time

• agrees that any blood, urine or tissue taken from her for any reason can be used for random drug testing for any substance she's been asked not to use

• agrees to waive her right to revoke her consent (for release of medical records or test results)

• agrees to waive her right to a trial to resolve any dispute arising out of the agreement (binding arbitration only)

End of Life

• agrees to be put on life support at IP request 

• agrees that IPs get to decide how long she stays on life support

• agrees to stay on life support until the child is born or the pregnancy is no longer viable

• agrees to have no living will that will conflict with IPs’ life support requests

• agrees that the terms of this agreement will prevail over any directive or the requests of any person appointed to make health care decisions on her behalf

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This post was edited and updated in December 2022.